When Your Relationship Ends | The Need for Divorce Counselling

Two individuals who promised to be with each other for a lifetime, when sense the unpleasant bitterness stinging both of them in their daily life, when things don’t work out and when either or one of them strongly feels that the marriage is not at all going to work out for them, then that obvious step adopted by them, is divorce.

Divorce is not only the process that puts an end to marriage but also a process that grants many unwanted emotional disturbances. Though the thought of divorce can be a relief to some parties, it involves stressful situations. People who go through divorce might experience grief, guilt, anger, confusion, shame, and anxiety. And, if children are involved, the stress could be more intense.

Divorce counseling is a process that helps you deal with your emotions during and after the divorce, leaving no amount of regrets and helping you cope with any regrets left and ward off that guilt or shame you could be carrying. It helps you face yourself, love yourself and helps you maintain other relationships present and to get ready for further relationships in your life, treating those psychological wounds made by this previous marriage.

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Marriage Counseling May Not Work

Many people try to attend a marriage counseling session before filing up a divorce and they would expect a miracle to happen in one or two sessions. Marriage is actually something that you need to work on. Nothing can happen in a jiffy. Attending the counseling session just before going to file a divorce is like doing it to avoid any guilt further. So, what happens is that, the couple starts attending the marriage counseling sessions, just to prove that everything is over. Either both or one of the partners is already in a fix that they are not interested in saving the marriage.

It is common for the couple to fail to notice the enormity and emotional turmoil that is caused to them and the immediate family members as a result of the aftermath of the big decision. But once they file a divorce, the consciousness starts questioning from the start of the marriage. This could bring an emotional burden on the individuals where a divorce counselor or a divorce therapist can help. When children are involved in this, the guilt and shame will be of another level. It is highly beneficial to consult a therapist in such cases.

Also Read: Online Marital Counselling

When Do You Need Divorce Counseling?

Losing a relationship with someone you thought you would be forever with is not so easy. If you are the one who called off a relationship, you would feel guilt inside, but if it’s your partner, who did that, you will experience anger and denial. If both of you wanted to split, you would still feel hurt inside and should go through an emotional process to get healed. Divorce counselling can help you at any stage. If the family therapists and relationship therapists recommend you to have divorce therapy or divorce counselling, then it’s high time you take one.

Read more: Relationship Counselling Online

Why is Divorce Counseling Necessary for You?

When couples undergo divorce, they go through a lot. Things are viewed in one’s perspective and the other person is blamed. Such a blamery and negligence and the emotions they had to carry throughout this period, throw them into a confusion and aversion towards having any kind of relationships in their lives. Especially the closure is what everyone tends to neglect. Closure is a concept that nobody experiences after a divorce and that’s what keeps them fighting for years within themselves. Therapists or counselors help them achieve this closure and prepare them to move emotionally forward in their lives.

There are more professionals offering the divorce counseling not only because of the legal and logistics aspects of the process, but also for the emotional and psychological support the persons need. Divorce counseling may not be required for all the couples divorcing, but is helpful for the individuals who go through the psychological trauma and emotional suffering that this life event might have left behind in their minds.

Post-divorce counseling

A post-divorce counseling session helps to cope with life after the struggles and pain that divorce has created. The strenuous process of divorce would leave the individuals in many negative emotions like sadness, loneliness, distress, feeling of failure and lost, regress and grief. There would be many issues lingering in mind that you would have acted upon before the marriage broke or there could be anger and frustration that might have spoiled your peace since these many days that resulted because of the behavior of your spouse. Now, undergoing counseling can help you deal with grievances and all those negative emotions that left you in a spiral of emotional web. Help yourself come into positivity with the help of an expert.

The possible symptoms that an individual have to deal with, after facing a divorce, are mostly like the below ones.

• Overwhelmed sadness
• Difficult in sleeping
• Sudden weight gain or loss
• Excessive anxiety
• Suicidal ideation
• Debilitating depression
• Poor concentration
• Excessive anxiety
• Disinterest in activities
• Isolating and withdrawn
• Sudden sense of self-loathing

Such symptoms are to be dealt with by seeking a professional help. An expert in helping you handle the emotional part of you can make you come out of any trauma.

Before and After Divorce Counseling

Aspect	Before Divorce Counseling	After Divorce Counseling
Emotional State	High levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. Feelings of guilt, anger, and confusion are common.	Improved emotional regulation, reduced anxiety and depression. Feelings of acceptance and peace increase.
Communication Level	Poor communication skills leading to misunderstandings and conflicts. Difficulty in expressing needs and concerns effectively.	Enhanced communication skills leading to better understanding and resolution of conflicts. Open and honest expression of needs and concerns.
Parenting Effectiveness	Struggles with co-parenting, leading to inconsistent parenting strategies and increased stress in children.	Improved co-parenting strategies, leading to a more stable and supportive environment for children.
Overall Well-Being	Low self-esteem and a sense of failure. Isolation and difficulty engaging in social activities or forming new relationships.	Increased self-esteem and a sense of personal growth. More open to socializing and forming new relationships.

What are the Outcomes of Divorce Counseling?

Divorce counseling helps you to resolve conflicts in a healthy way and to deal with your emotional self.

• You can learn how to process and address unresolved issues
• It helps you work towards any negative feelings or emotions
• It supports you to work towards your personal growth
• Understanding your partner’s needs during this process
• Helps you in communicating better

Qualified and experienced psychologists or counselors provide you with safe environment to express any negative feelings and emotions. Your therapists stand by you to work towards your personal goals. You and your partner can both meet a counselor to make your divorce smooth and to take the space to explore your future relationships, your goals and desires. If you both are unable to decide if divorcing is the best solution, then your counselor can suggest on what really works for you both.

The transition of being single after a divorce can be difficult to embrace, where the counselor can help you go through it in a smoother way. The divorce counselor helps the couples to try to settle down the things in a nicer way, uncovering the causes of anger and resentment, clarifying the on-going battles, and helping them exchange a dialogue in a neutral environment.

In most of the cases, the ligations are not over the material possessions like cars, houses or lands, but due to the internal causes like lingering resentment and unresolved anger. A divorce counselor helps the couple understand each other’s loss and guides them through the painful process of emotional trauma in this divorce process. Divorce counseling requires concrete plans to change currents thoughts, behaviors and emotions.

Discover more on How is Psychological Counseling Beneficial? | Is Online Counseling Advantageous?

Things that are to be dealt with

This is the time when there occur many things without our knowledge. They creep in and we don’t usually give a thought, especially, when children are around.

• Parents demeaning their spouses and their families in front of the children
• Arguments about money in front of the children
• Speaking low about relationships etc.

Such activities fill the children’s hearts with hatred and mistrust which would affect their future a lot. Apart from that, there are a few things that the sufferers neglect. Such negligence would increase the burden after the divorce.

• Avoiding interaction to discuss things
• Financial problems relating to claiming alimony and other expenses
• Changes in lifestyle and feeling lonely all the time
• Neglecting self-care and compassion
• Avoiding Relationships due to which the children and parents may get distanced.

Both the divorcees should keep these things in mind and should be attentive. In such cases, divorce counseling comes handy.

Who can benefit from counseling?

People who are undergoing a separation process, has a lot to deal with. Some people will slowly try to digest the on-going changes in life, while some might push themselves towards making a better life as soon as possible so as to forget everything and live happily. Both need counseling so that their emotions don’t affect their mental health and wellness. The individuals who suffer from the problems such as

• Feel like sinking into depression
• Engaged in thoughts
• Pondering over the past
• Being absent-minded and feeling lost
• When thoughts are filled with anger
• Destructive behaviors
• Self-harming thoughts
• Suicidal ideation
• Addiction to smoking or vaping
• Drug abuse
• Having eating disorders
• Sleeping disorders etc.

During the course of divorce, when people suffer these changes, it is understood that they need some expert psychological help to be back to normal life. If there are children involved, it’s better to work with a psychologist who is also a child psychologist. The younger minds get much affected with all such emotional damage. Wellness Hub has a curated list of trained and experienced professionals that are experts in couple counseling, family counseling, marriage counseling, divorce counseling, child counseling etc., since many years. Book an appointment today, to talk to your therapist.

Comprehensive Benefits of Counseling: Enhancing Mental Health and Personal Growth

Benefit	Description
Improved Mental Health	Counseling provides a supportive environment to address and work through mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and stress, leading to improved overall mental well-being.
Enhanced Self-awareness	Through reflective conversations, counseling helps individuals gain insight into their own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, fostering greater self-awareness and personal growth.
Better Stress Management	Counseling offers strategies and tools for coping with stress, helping individuals to manage stressors more effectively and maintain emotional balance.
Improved Relationships	By developing better communication skills and understanding interpersonal dynamics, counseling can lead to healthier and more fulfilling relationships with others.
Conflict Resolution Skills	Counselors provide guidance on resolving conflicts in a constructive manner, enabling individuals to handle disputes in personal and professional contexts with greater ease.
Support Through Life Transitions	Counseling offers support and guidance during major life changes, such as career changes, bereavement, or relationship transitions, helping individuals to navigate these periods.
Enhanced Problem-solving Skills	Individuals learn to identify problems, consider solutions, and make informed decisions, improving their ability to solve problems in various areas of life.
Reduced Feelings of Isolation	Counseling sessions provide a safe and confidential space to share thoughts and feelings, reducing feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Better Understanding of Boundaries	Counseling helps individuals understand and establish healthy boundaries in relationships, contributing to more respectful and balanced interactions.
Increased Coping Skills	Counseling equips individuals with a variety of coping mechanisms for dealing with life’s challenges, enhancing resilience and adaptability.

Know more about Nature of Grief | How does grief end?

Conclusion

Navigating the tumultuous waters of divorce requires more than just legal advice; it necessitates a comprehensive approach to healing the emotional and psychological wounds that accompany the dissolution of a marriage. Divorce counseling emerges as a critical service in this context, offering individuals the support and guidance needed to process their feelings, achieve closure, and move forward with their lives in a positive and healthy manner. It is not just about managing the immediate aftermath but also about laying the groundwork for future relationships and personal growth. Whether it’s addressing unresolved anger, facilitating better communication, or helping parents and children adapt to new family dynamics, the role of divorce counseling cannot be overstated.

Wellness Hub stands as a vital resource for those navigating divorce, offering access to a wide range of counseling services tailored to meet the needs of individuals, couples, and families. Its team of skilled professionals provides the necessary support and guidance, ensuring a holistic approach to overcoming the challenges of divorce and promoting overall mental health and wellness for a brighter, more resilient future.

Frequently Asked Questions:

1. What is divorce counseling and why is it important?

Divorce counseling is a specialized form of therapy aimed at helping individuals navigate the emotional and psychological challenges of divorce. It’s important because it offers support in processing feelings, achieving closure, and preparing for the future, thereby facilitating a healthier transition into post-divorce life.

2. When should someone consider seeking divorce counseling?

Individuals should consider seeking divorce counseling when they are experiencing difficulty coping with the emotional distress of divorce, such as feelings of grief, anger, confusion, or when facing challenges in adjusting to new life circumstances post-divorce.

3. How can divorce counseling help parents and children?

Divorce counseling can assist parents and children in managing the complexities of changing family dynamics. For parents, it can provide strategies for co-parenting effectively, whereas for children, it offers a safe space to express their feelings and helps them understand and adjust to the new family structure.

4. Can divorce counseling help with communication between ex-partners?

Yes, divorce counseling can significantly improve communication between ex-partners by providing them with tools to express their needs and concerns constructively, resolve conflicts amicably, and negotiate agreements related to co-parenting and other post-divorce arrangements.

5. What makes Wellness Hub a recommended choice for divorce counseling?

Wellness Hub is recommended for its curated list of trained and experienced professionals specializing in various aspects of counseling, including divorce, family, and child therapy. Its commitment to offering a supportive and confidential environment makes it a trusted choice for those seeking comprehensive support during and after divorce.

6. How does Wellness Hub support personal growth after divorce?

Wellness Hub supports personal growth after divorce by offering tailored counseling services that address individual needs, promoting healing from emotional wounds, and encouraging positive strategies for moving forward. Its focus on personal development ensures individuals emerge stronger and more resilient.

7. Are there specialized services at Wellness Hub for dealing with financial stress and lifestyle changes post-divorce?

Yes, Wellness Hub offers access to professionals who can provide guidance on managing financial stress and adapting to lifestyle changes post-divorce. This holistic approach ensures individuals receive comprehensive support in all areas affected by the end of a marriage.

8. How can divorce counseling assist with emotional closure?

Divorce counseling plays a crucial role in facilitating emotional closure by helping individuals process their feelings, understand the end of their relationship, and move forward without lingering resentment or regret. Counselors provide strategies for achieving peace and acceptance, essential for healing.

9. What role does Wellness Hub play in supporting individuals through the legal aspects of divorce?

While Wellness Hub primarily focuses on emotional and psychological support, it can also guide individuals to appropriate legal resources and help manage the stress and anxiety associated with the legal proceedings of divorce. This holistic approach ensures that clients receive comprehensive support during this challenging time.

10. How does divorce counseling at Wellness Hub address the impact of divorce on mental health?

Divorce counseling at Wellness Hub addresses the impact of divorce on mental health by offering personalized therapeutic interventions aimed at reducing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress. Counselors work with clients to develop coping strategies, improve self-esteem, and foster resilience, ensuring a healthier mental state post-divorce.

About the Author:

Prapoorna Mangalampalli

M.Sc., M.A., (Dual Masters in Psychology & English) – Counselor (6+ years of experience)

Prapoorna armed with a passionate dedication fueled by dual Master’s degrees in Psychology and English, Prapoorna sheds light on and elevates human experiences. Over 6+ years of experience fuel her insightful approach to counseling, offering profound empathy and guidance across diverse areas like online, marital, relationship, child, family, and career counseling.

At Wellness Hub, she thrives in a team environment that values innovation, compassion, and achieving results for their clients.

Connect with Prapoorna to learn how she can help you or your loved one find their voice and build a brighter future.